(Actual items from the local police record.)

Vandalism: At 2:35 p.m., officer went to the Lakeview Apartments parking lot after a resident reported that between the hours of 3 and 4 a.m., someone had smashed a pumpkin on the roof of his car, causing a substantial dent. The complainant had collected pieces of the pumpkin in the hopes police could lift a fingerprint from it but police explained that it was not possible given the texture of the fruit.

Moral: if you're going to commit a crime, use a pumpkin.